


sentimentality

by veils



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Lowercase, Not Beta Read, PLEASE THIS IS MY COPING MECHANISM, Post-Timeskip, Self-Indulgent, Sibling Relationship, Siblings, sibling fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veils/pseuds/veils
Summary: atsumu is not going to call his brother.no.but osamu's phone lights up and shows atsumu's contact name.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 79





	sentimentality

**Author's Note:**

> okay first of all, i couldn't resist. i cried because of this episode and my bottled up feelings turned into this. 
> 
> some trivias:  
> 1\. the title is really ironic considering atsumu isn't very sentimental nor is osamu i think?  
> 2\. i wasn't supposed to post this since i wanted to wait for haikyuu found family week, but i got too excited  
> 3\. I SUCK AT WRITING PAST TENSE??????  
> 4\. i don't have a sibling and didn't do research about it so if there's misrepresentation, comment it down below so i can learn for future works :))
> 
> update: MY DUMBASS FORGOT TO PUT CW 
> 
> CW: MENTIONS OF BLOOD, WOUNDS ( IT'S RIGHT AFTER THE FIRST FLASH BACK )

to many people, they've encountered their ups and downs, highs and lows, victories and defeats — alone. they had to kneel down on the ground, facing their milestones independently, only sharing that fervent feeling with themselves. but to miya atsumu, that wasn't the case. 

the first time he opened his eyes, someone was already there waiting for him. he looked just like him, maybe tweaked slightly different, but it did seem as if they were carved from the same hands, the same idea. he was miya osamu, his twin brother, the first friend he ever made, might as well his first enemy. 

miya osamu was definitely tweaked differently. he had the talent — slightly more superior than atsumu when it came to volleyball. it drove the other wild, because he wanted to be better, too. and when atsumu was leading the race, osamu would quickly catch up. 

some people will think it's just a matter of selfish pride. the twins were known for their competitiveness and where did it always lead to? pride. but to those who have seen them long enough to properly judge who they were, it wasn't just that. ojiro aran knew it wasn't only a matter of selfish pride, since the moment he met them, they were built together. 

built together, what did that mean? built together meant they were there to complete each other's puzzles, to fill up the gaps of the other, and to maintain the balance of a table. remember that most things come in pairs. you can't wear a pair of glasses without the other temple. you can't use one chopstick when eating. you can't listen properly if only one muff of a headphone is provided. 

but take into account that the twins were aware of the fact the only person who could beat them was one another. if there was one person who could surpass atsumu, it was miya osamu. if there was one person who could run pass osamu, it was miya atsumu. and the thing was, the awareness of this made them believe they were invincible. it's just a sibling thing not to say it out loud. 

when osamu quitted volleyball was when aran realized that this was the caterpillar of the butterfly effect of bigger events that would take place in the future. for the first time — the twins were going to take separate paths. 

all of a sudden, aran decided to read the road not taken by robert frost. 

aran wondered if either of the twins thought one of them took the wrong path. if the path one of them took was a dim one, without the other end close to sight; if there was an end after all. 

he closed the book. in years of his existence, aran was aware that the only ones who could understand this were the twins themselves. this was the perfect time to retire from having to observe monsters when you were born to just be a shepherd of a herd of sheep. 

"ahh, osaka. seems to good to be true, right 'samu?" 

"...what." 

atsumu looks to his right. that isn't osamu. in fact, he has white and black hair, gold eyes — definitely not osamu. bokuto koutarou laughs at him, louder even just to spite atsumu. the latter gives in to the taunt and frowns, rolling his eyes at him. "whatever. you didn't hear me say that." 

"it's fine, you know," koutarou says with a sigh after laughing too hard, putting hands on his hips as they step foot into the court, "fine to miss a person who's stayed by your side since the day you were born." 

right after practice, rookie setter atsumu confines in his solitary space inside the locker room. he thinks about what koutarou said. it didn't seem as if it were forced pity, knowing koutarou had his own siblings who were born before him. he knows how it feels to be… suddenly alone. not to mention the bond he had with his former setter, akaashi keiji. atsumu wonders if osamu has ever felt that way — when the other half of the moon is gone. 

pride hinders him from saying he misses his brother. there are times when he accidentally calls his teammates _osamu_ , which is totally understandable. meian is aware of how hard it is for atsumu to get over a habit that was naturally trained for two decades. and there are those incidents at night when he gets nightmares and he wakes up, seeing nothing but the dark ceiling instead of the wood that supports the top bunk of a deck. 

in his solitary space, subdued, atsumu takes his phone out and looks at the scanned photo of him and his twin when they were babies. he can't even recognize which one is him there. he swipes and there's another pic. this one's got suna in it. 

suna. 

_"so," osamu starts, making atsumu curious with the way he fidgets his calloused fingers, "i like someone."_

_"uhuh."_

_"but i can't confess to them."_

_"that's 'cause you're a weak piece of shit."_

_"dumbass! that isn't the case." they are walking down the streets, on the way home from school. "i didn't want to confess because you liked him, too."_

_"what the fuck? since when did you care about my feelings anyway?" atsumu complains. osamu sneers at him in both annoyance and disgust. a part of him wishes he knew why atsumu felt that way instead of being relieved that he didn't have any competition._

_but he shrugs. "don't know. don't eat my pudding late—"_

_"you should've confessed," atsumu cuts him off. he looks at his brother again and hopes he can comprehend him better. no use. "so what if i like suna? why did that make you take a step back?"_

_"i stood no chance."_

_"what the hell is wrong with you?!" atsumu stops walking. osamu is a few steps away before he stops, turning back to look at the former with a frown and a squint. "why can't you accept a fucking compliment?" osamu barks back._

_"because that's not you?!" atsumu hollers in tone as if it were to imply the obvious. "if you like rintarou, pursue him you fucking donkey. if me liking him puts you in a bad state like this then i don't like him anymore. i never even liked him as much as you do!"_

_atsumu is angry, visibly, but deep inside, he feels so warm (surprised, even) knowing his brother has the capacity to be considerate of him._

miya osamu looks at the scar on his knee. he's sitting on a chair in the staff room of onigiri miya, with his pants rolled up. the scar is a decade and a half old, carved in the memory of a childhood stupidity. he fell off miserably on his bike. the bike's saddle was too high for him and because of that, the impact left a mark. it stretched until it reached his shin. what a fall. 

presumably, he was alone because he didn't tell anyone he'd use the bike his dad owned, but then again, miya osamu wasn't born to be alone. ride beside the bike slumped against the hillside, osamu cried. first of all, the wound hurt like a bitch; second of all, blood looked really weird to him; third of all, no matter how many times he yelled _okaa-san!_ , no one answered. it was a hidden part of the town too, so no once could've heard him that much at all. 

however, a boy as small as he was was running down the hill (read: nearly rolled down the hill) to rescue him. he mirrored osamu's features, except that he didn't have a bleeding knee. "osamu!" 

"brother! it hurts!" osamu cried. young little atsumu had no idea how to treat the wound (and was disgusted with the crimson stuff that stain his brother's leg) so he kissed osamu's forehead to mellow the tears and offered to pick him up. "what about the bike?" 

"forget it! papa will get it later." 

osamu can recall every word that was said that day, like a memory repeating itself in the form of a dream. suna rintarou visits onigiri miya as often as he can, even promoting the restaurant whenever he posts on social media. truthfully, the presence of a lover makes up for the loss of a sibling who was always with you, but then again, two different types of love require different sentimentality. and even if rintarou's presence can heal much of the longing, it doesn't make a huge change nor does it make osamu's life much happier. 

his twin brother doesn't even call him or text him as often as one person can, and the funny is that he's not done the same thing as well. they yearn for the familial love they aren't even trying to give. 

at times he envisions himself standing in the court, wearing the black jackals jersey, standing beside his brother as the nation watches them — just like years ago. he thinks about… about how things could've been if he followed right behind his brother instead. could things have been different? maybe, maybe not. no one can exactly say. was it wrong to choose for himself this time? had the crucial moment been nothing but a blur to him? 

but what really helps osamu cope with those absurd thoughts are the memory of him telling his brother straight in the face that he wanted to pursue something else other than volleyball and that one thing atsumu told him when he faked to be asleep. 

_"you're the worst, you know that?" the kansai-ben becomes thicker when atsumu's disappointed. "i hate you. but i also don't. but i hate you." he's sitting on the bean bag near their bunk bed._

_"but if you supported me all these years despite keeping a weird competition with me, then i guess it's just fair to support you, too," he sighs. "i know you still want to play, you just want to pursue something else,"_

_osamu knows he's right. atsumu is right even with the next few words he's going to say._

_"so i'm going to bring you to the court. just you wait. they're not going to see me on the court alone. there are two miyas in the court, so watch me bring that to life."_

_his fist holding his blanket tightens, which atsumu doesn't notice because he goes to sleep on his bunk. a tear slips out of his eyelid._

his room feels bigger and it's suffocating him. atsumu can't sleep. he tosses and turns and nearly break his bed in frustration, but he's still wide awake and barely even tired despite of overworking his body the entire day. 

sitting up, his body starts to work on his own and before he can stop it, tears are flowing. 

he goes outside because that seems to be a good option to let loose. 

he isn't going to call him. no. 

the nearest konbini is open, which is a relief to osamu. he's energetic for someone who should be asleep right now, but his senses are just so wide awake that he decided to go out. he enters the konbini and greets the night shift worker who's ready one of the magazines behind him. is he going to buy himself something to drink so he can fall asleep? maybe, or he can just pretend he's going to buy something when he didn't. 

he leaves the konbini when he didn't know what else to do there and felt as if it were time to go home. hands in his pockets, his phone vibrates inside and he grabs it, fishing it out to check who's calling. and he can't believe his eyes — his brother's contact name is on the screen; out of shock, he swipes to answer. 

"hello?" 

("s-samu!")

"why the hell are you crying?" 

("l-look behind you.") 

osamu sneers in confusion but he looks behind him and there is his twin brother, smiling as he cries while holding the phone against his ear. "i fucking hate you, brother. what the hell are you doing here?!" atsumu asks, still grinning. osamu pairs up with his version of that grin. 

"i came here to check the lot for my osaka branch." 

atsumu's grin stretches wider. 

that isn't the only reason why he came, is it?

**Author's Note:**

> GOD I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS FIC BUT MY MIND JUST WONT PROCESS? also, if you squint there's sunaosa, atsusuna and platonic bokuatsu in here :>
> 
> i'm on tumblr as librasuna, spotify as angstmotors! the twitter acc i'm using rn goes private once in a while so i recommend not following that account. but if you found this fic through that account, oh well HAHAHAHA
> 
> stay safe & check your loved ones!! tell them you love them very much <3


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